1. Do not steal anything from the restroom. The toilet paper, towels, soap, and magazines are there for your use while you’re in there doing your business. They are not there for you to take home.

2. Do not use an auction gallery’s restroom like a phone booth. If you don’t want anyone to hear your cell phone conversation, please go outside.

3. Do not remove a book from the auction gallery’s sales floor and take it with you into the restroom to read while you do your business.

4. If you purchase a boxlot, do not attempt to dispose of the items that you don’t want from it by flushing them down the toilet.

5. Do not give yourself a sponge bath in an auction gallery’s restroom.

6. Yes, it’s called a restroom, but don’t take a nap in there.

7. Do not store your purchases in the restroom.

8. Do not store your children in the restroom.

9. Do not leave the restroom door open while you’re using it so you can still bid.

10. As far as I know, there is no such thing as the Gavel Club. Therefore, do not enter an auction gallery’s restroom with your partner having the intention of making love to him/her.

There’s far more to being a professional auctioneer than merely marketing merchandise. Each Wednesday, Behind the Block explores the precise methods, the elemental madness, and the intrinsic humanity of the auction industry.