STRENGTH & FOCUS: I tried that… and it didn’t work!
How many times has someone told you not to do something because it didn’t work for them? Now I’m not talking about buying some obscure contraption from TV after midnight or paying outrageous sums of money to join a get-rich-quick scheme or program, but rather investing your time and energy by enrolling in a seminar, training, coaching, or even a home study course that could potentially bring fantastic results. So having clarified my original question, how many times has someone told you not to do something and, more importantly, how many times have you listened?
In the past, I’ve been asked, “What will coaching do for me?” And my response is always the same: “I don’t know, what do you want it to do for you?”
I’ve repeatedly heard the rebuttal, “The ‘Law of Attraction’ doesn’t work! I read the books/bought the programs and said the affirmations but nothing happened and I didn’t attract anything!” I’ll be honest; my initial response for this statement tends to be silly before ultimately having an in-depth conversation about the topic.
Regarding any quality book focused on personal development (“If I read it, is it going to change me?”) or regarding such classics as, “Think and Grow Rich” by Napoleon Hill (“Will I become a millionaire by reading it?”), again, my usual response is something along the lines of, “I don’t know – can a book do that by itself? Is it a magical book?”
And the truth is, no. In my experience, at least, there is no training, coach, or book that will do to you or do for you anything that you don’t do for yourself.
Yes, the trainer/coach/author will provide new ideas, insights, and suggestions, offer a different perspective, as well as develop plans together, but in the end, it is the responsibility of the client to put the plan into action. Please note the keyword is “action.” I would even suggest, as was taught to me by one of my trainers, that, regarding the “Law of Attraction,” some people fail to recognize the root word and simply wait for things to come to them rather than taking initiative in creating what they desire.
In the matter of all change work, you must play the game at 100 percent!
Over a month ago, we all welcomed the New Year which, for many people, is the time of the year to set a resolution and make some positive life changes. So with that in mind, here’s an example of someone who appears to be playing the game but isn’t willing to give themselves absolutely to the process of change.
Let’s say we have a person named Carl, and Carl wants to lose some weight and change his eating habits, so he goes to the gym and enlists the help of a personal trainer. Now the personal trainer informs Carl that in order to achieve his goals, he should incorporate these three daily practices: 1.) Increase exercise. 2.) Decrease calorie intake. 3.) Make a regular positive affirmation which adds personal encouragement via self-suggestion. Simple enough, right?
At the beginning of the program and through the first few weeks, Carl is motivated and well on his way to achieving his goals, but slowly his drive begins to waver and his level of commitment begins to taper. He begins to convince himself that an exception to the rule today is OK as long as he tries harder tomorrow. Slowly, he begins to shorten his workout routine and reintroduce his favorite chips and cookies into his meals. As the days go by, Carl becomes discouraged because he’s not seeing the results he wants and, of course, the lack of results have absolutely nothing to do with the recent exceptions to the rule, so he decides that a few more exceptions couldn’t hurt…
This is Carl, and Carl loves to try to achieve his goals. In fact, this isn’t the first time he’s tried a program like this. He’s tried various programs, bought multiple products that guaranteed success, enlisted many top trainers and coaches, and he’s read all the books – well, most of them. Unfortunately, Carl is like many people, and he has no issue with telling others, “I tried that, and it didn’t work!”
But the part he’s leaving out, whether he realizes it or not, is that it didn’t work for him because he didn’t work to achieve the results he wanted. Like the old saying goes, “You get out of it exactly what you put into it,” Carl put in a half effort and got out a half result. That said, you shouldn’t let “Carl” sway your decision or tell you what not to do. Don’t allow someone else’s limitations to influence your ability to perform.
Simply put, if you want something – truly want something – then go for it and give it your all. Give yourself absolutely to the process of change and achieving your goal in order to get the results that you desire.
If you have a coach, remember coaching is a do with process, so work with your coach to develop a plan that will help you to achieve the results you want. If you’re enrolled in a training program, learn all that you can and then apply and integrate the course material into the necessary aspects of your life. Many of the best training programs offer follow-up and support for the students, so take advantage of this opportunity. If you’re reading a book (or home study course), find a professional support system, mentor, or friend that is willing to assist you with your goals.
In closing, I would simply like to quote one of my favorite Jedi Masters, as he so eloquently stated for students in every discipline of life…
“Do or do not. There is no try.”
by Rich Perry
Rich is a Master Coach of NLP, consultant, speaker, musician, trainer, student of life, and an all-around great guy. He also claims to make the most amazing hummus in the universe.