LETTER TO THE EDITOR: Want to know how I became a billionaire? Come to our class reunion
An open letter to the Brewster Academy Class of 2005
Dear Brewster Academy Class of 2005,
It’s me, Hector Beluga, the one the rumors are all about. People say I’m how all those elephants ended up near Lake Scranton, that I’m eating at Pizza by Pappas with the “Game of Thrones” cast, that I shut down Discovery Zone. Some of the rumors are true, but don’t you want to hear it from the horse’s mouth?
Yes, it is true – I’m a billionaire now. I did not inherit the money. I did not find Everhart‘s treasure chest scuba diving the Gorge. I earned my money same as all of you.
So please come to our high school reunion. I’ve planned a little awards ceremony, some local pizza, and a PowerPoint explanation on being a billionaire. It’s going to be like prom, only this time Gerry Glintz isn’t going to get knocked up. I mean, maybe you will, Gerry, I can’t stop you. I’m not trying to control the situation; I’m just trying to take advantage of having us all in one place finally.
To RSVP, call my assistant Keanu at 570-561-5213. Be careful dialing or you’ll get the bowling alley.
Student Council Treasurer 2004