STRENGTH & FOCUS: Self-talk – yes, you do talk to yourself, but what are you saying?
Self-talk is described as the thoughts we think and the words we say to and about ourselves. Now, if you’re thinking, “Bologna! I don’t talk to myself,” well, yes, you do! We all do, and it’s perfectly natural. Stop and think for a moment. As you’re going about your day, thinking those thoughts and saying those words to and about yourself, what are you saying? What kind of message are you conveying?
Do you find yourself frequently thinking or saying things that are positive, serving, and moving you towards greatness, like “I’m good enough,” “I can do this,” and “I deserve this,” or do you say things that are negative, destructive, and self-sabotaging, like “I am no good,” “I don’t have enough skills,” and “I don’t deserve to have this dream?” Essentially, are you your own coach and biggest fan, cheering yourself towards victory, or are you your own worst enemy, beating yourself up and offering excuses as to why you can’t do things?
The reason this is so important and why you need to gain clarity on your self-talk is because you need to know whose side you’re on. I’m going to say that again – you need to know whose side you’re on!
Think about someone you know who has spent thousands of dollars on personal development programs and wasted hundreds of hours on professional training but hasn’t gained much ground or made any significant changes in his/her business and life. It’s possible that this person is new to the personal growth space, in which case, he/she has only spent a few hundred dollars buying a home program but, most likely, your friend is one of the many countless individuals who have dumped thousands of dollars to travel away from home for a multi-day event, only to return with the exact same problems as when they left.
Sure, the loud, hypnotic chanting, repetitive affirmations, and super high-fives were empowering for a moment and the energy seemed to smother those problems, but once the cheering settled and the person returned to the old and familiar environment, those same old familiar issues began to resurface stronger than ever. You know it’s true. You’ve seen it happen to your friends or family and vividly remember the look of disappointment and sense of overall frustration while venting about those problems that just wouldn’t go away. How many people do you know who can lump themselves into this failed category of wasted money and time via broken promises? You’ve probably felt this sting yourself with certain products or programs in the past. It hurts, right?
But, how does this happen? Shouldn’t you expect to experience profound life changes after partaking in expensive seminars and retreats? Is it asking too much to anticipate those same results promised on the sales letter of costly programs? Is it wrong to assume the books should provide answers rather than raising more questions?
It’s also important to note that another root cause could be that a charlatan or knucklehead who clearly wasn’t worth his salt designed the seminar, program, or book, but we’ll address that in a later column. Plus, I’m going to show you how to align with real leaders, authority figures, and mentors so that you’re always learning from top professionals who act with integrity and have your best interest in mind.
For the sake of our current discussion, let’s assume that the programs and books we’re considering are crafted by a well-intentioned, adept person so that we can examine how somebody can waste thousands of dollars and spend hundreds of hours on self-development but only experience disappointing stasis. Though these unwanted effects could stem from multiple root causes, in my experience, one of the chief factors is that these people worked against the program. They beat themselves down rather than lifting themselves up. They looked for excuses for failure rather than reasons to succeed. And they doubted themselves and maintained limiting beliefs rather than creating and maintaining self-empowering beliefs.
Thank you for reading today’s Strength & Focus, and I hope you found it beneficial. We’ll be back next week with Part 2 in this three-part series.
If you have negative and sabotaging self-talk and you want to eliminate this harmful inner dialogue, then go to thepathofme.com to receive my free eBook and mindset training tools that will absolutely help you create your own life of purpose.
Until next time, thanks and be excellent!