BEHIND THE BLOCK: ‘Oh, fudge!’ – how to shut down an auctioneer
Rarely am I rendered speechless. More than most of the time, I have a well-timed, well-spoken, intelligent, smartass retort to any comment or question sarcastically offered me. Yes, rarely am I rendered speechless. There are moments, however, when my tongue clings to my palate, my brain freezes, and I just gape or scowl or laugh. […]
BEHIND THE BLOCK: Boxlot Post No. 1 – random auction observations
Brainstorming for this column inevitably leaves me with stories, thoughts, and epiphanies that aren’t substantial enough to stand on their own. Hence, this is the first of many Boxlot Posts in which I will offer my miscellaneous conceptual tchotchkes in a virtual cardboard box… Prostitution is the oldest profession in the world. Auctioneering is the […]
BEHIND THE BLOCK : ‘Do you sell stuff here or…?’
Carlo and I were working in the auction gallery when a curious woman entered. She approached my brother and said to him, “Do you sell stuff here or…?” My brother waited for her to finish her question, but nothing more was offered. Carlo nodded, “Well, yeah. That’s what we do here. We sell stuff at […]
BEHIND THE BLOCK: Inside information on the value of old books
Fast Eddie, a longtime client and friend, sent me an e-mail that will prove critically enlightening to my fellow auctioneers, antique/collectible dealers, and those who are either part of – or thinking about getting into – the online trading community. It reads as such: This morning I was at an estate sale when I overheard […]
BEHIND THE BLOCK: Befuddled by a dressing table
I was alone in my gallery, prepping for an upcoming auction, when two women (I’ll call them Dense and Denser) walked in to have a look. They perused the inventory, making squealing quips and clucks. I gave them a few minutes to walk around before I greeted them and asked if I could be of […]
BEHIND THE BLOCK: Silly bidding techniques
I’ve already discussed stealthy bidding techniques and overt ones. Then I took a stroll through that cerebral zoo of mine where I keep all of my absurdity. There I found silly bidding techniques, ones that I’ve never actually seen used, but that would be hilarious should they ever be employed by auction-goers. The Slasher Flick […]
BEHIND THE BLOCK: Why pianos get left behind in peculiar places
I was watching an episode of “Band of Brothers” in which the brave soldiers of Easy Company were storming a town in Normandy. While they were scrambling for cover from Nazi machine gunfire, they ran past an upright piano that happened to be sitting in the middle of the street. No one was playing it, […]
BEHIND THE BLOCK: An open response to a negative Google review
If you Google “Savo Auctioneers,” you will discover a solitary one-star review that was written by an anonymous user more than three years ago. It reads as follows: what a joke is all i have to say about this place.they think this is some high end auction house when they have the same junk that […]
BEHIND THE BLOCK: Soft pack blunder
Pap was a stout man crowned by a wild mane of curls who took his coffee light and sweet. Sometime in his youth, a knife had severed the tendon in his left index finger, leaving it inflexible and unusable, except for giving directions and holding cigarettes. And Pap was always sporting a lit smoke. If […]
BEHIND THE BLOCK: Perfume bottles by Avon, short for All Very Odorous Nothing
They are trinket-like creatures, disguising their true and hellish nature within cutesy forms, such as cowboy boots, classic cars, historical busts, vintage radios, antique guns, and fluffy animals. Their scents are overpowering, for within their bodies lies not blood, but an eau de cologne sprung from the very depths of Hades. They lurk in attics, […]
